at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
