I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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