Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
