Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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