Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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