That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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