Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
