cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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