So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
