two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he was CRYING into my vagina
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
