none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize