So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
