she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Your cock deserves a montage
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
