Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
is that a dick in a sweater?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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