proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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