that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My penis needs a shock collar
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
