Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
