He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
