the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize