She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Everclear isn't food dammit
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
