I heard we made out
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
