oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My penis needs a shock collar
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
