i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
