But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
