Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
