I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
barbara walters just said penis...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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