the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
