You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
