Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
