I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
