she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Randomize
