I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
