Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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