'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
