im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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