The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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