I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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