I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize