the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
