I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
