we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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