i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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