You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
