So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
There's always time for handjobs
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
