The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I cut my penus on the lid.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
