I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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