I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
