belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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