Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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