Moan for me like Helen Keller
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I need moral support for this bender
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize