dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize