We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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