Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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