I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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