Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
How external is "for external use only"?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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