The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize