this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
